


To Die For

by WhenIFindLoveAgain



Category: (여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE
Genre: Angst and Feels, Break Up, F/F, Falling In Love, Feelings, Feelings Realization, First Love, Heartache, Heartbreaking, Lesbian Character, Loneliness, Love, Love Confessions, Love at First Sight, Love/Hate, Misery, No Sex, No Smut, Old-Fashioned, Sad, Sad Ending, Seo Soojin-centric, Sex Club, Strippers & Strip Clubs, True Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:07:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27325555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenIFindLoveAgain/pseuds/WhenIFindLoveAgain
Summary: Soojin's heart is broken as lover Shuhua, whom she fell in love, lied about her occupation as a dancer in a Sapphic night club, and, on top of a unrequited love that breaks Soojin's heart, absolutely humiliates her by giving her the same consideration as a child's toy. Soojin goes to Shuhua's club to sort things out
Relationships: Cho Miyeon/Minnie Nicha Yontararak, Seo Soojin/Yeh Shuhua
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	To Die For

**Author's Note:**

> When I first wrote this it had a bad romance vibe :) sex and punishment and promise and careers, that aesthetic, that behavior, bit, then, I got very sad over someone I really love, and, after crying my eyes out for hours and trying not to break all my possessions, I listened to a slowed down version of to die for by Sam Smith on YouTube, and, suddenly, the bad romance was gone and was replaced by my heartache. So, here we are. Make of it what you will

Soojin found out through her friends Minnie and Miyeon who pleaded with her to not wrap a crow-bar around lover Shuhua's head.

Shuhua had supposedly fallen in love with Soojin, and, the first days of their relationship had been intoxicatingly happy, absolutely wonderful.

Completely heaven on Earth.

Soojin had only know Shuhua a week, but, in a state that was extremely bad for her health, she had fallen utterly in love with Shuhua.

Soojin was the managing director of a tailoring company, and, Soojin knew that Shuhua worked in a club as a events organizer.

But, to Shuhua, events organizer was a sapphic sensuality dancer, and, sometimes prostitute.

Minnie's girlfriend Miyeon had a Grandfather that lived near the establishment where Shuhua worked, for, not only did he own a glorious old Edwardian-era home, he also owned a club in the region, and, knew the inside-out workings of all his competitors, and, kept a listing note of all that went on, a matter he often ranted about out of fed-up temper to his granddaughter, Miyeon, who, when hearing the name Yeh Shuhua, just couldn't hide it from Soojin.

A heartbreaking thought lingered in the back of Soojin's mind.

It's a one night stand that went on too long because the two of you thought the other one was too special to leave alone

So, Soojin in her long black French trench coat, the dark-red jersey wrap-waist dress with the calve-length hem she had been wearing that day with her Doc Marten boots walked into the "K" Ladies Club without Minnie or Miyeon as company, knowing that her two friends would be having an absolute fit about the whole situation. The two security guards, men in their mid-forties with nice faces, seemed to know what had happened to Soojin as she approached them and nervously asked if she could come in, having never been much of a clubber, let alone one like this.

"Anyone in particular, love?" One of the men asked her, talking to her like her Dad would. It made Soojin nearly cry on the spot.

"There's a girl in there called Yeh Shuhua and I would like to tell her to stop messing up my life." Soojin explained simply and softly, trying not to cry or swear, her only way of seeing Shuhua was if the two men would let her inside. The two men's eyes glowed sympathetically before her.

"In you go, sweetheart." The second man opened up the doors for her, and, just before Soojin went in, the first man said that the receptionist in the entrance hall would get her a cab, all she needed to do was ask when she had absolved what she needed too.

I wonder how they know? Soojin thought to herself momentarily, lost in outer space. Is it because this happens all the time? Is it because they've got daughter's themselves, or, do they remember the faces of their wives when they fucked up in the past?

Or is it just because they know Shuhua?

Soojin walked through a sixteen-foot ceilinged room with a carved wood ceiling, and Danish dark art-deco interior decoration in the manner of wallpaper, carpets, Welsh blackwood, the scent of spiced cigarette smoke, the maidenhair ferns, and, the dress code which seemed to set the tone for "if not wearing the period, go home". The receptionist behind the counter of a huge blackwood desk in the entrance hall with the stained-glass kerosene lamp on her desk, not a laptop or phone in sight, just papers in front of her, looked at Soojin as she came in. The receptionist was a tiny thing with a louise-brook black bob, doll-like features, black-lidded eyes, red-lipstick, and, a drop-waist black damask dress with three-quart. sleeves, and a pearl necklace with pearl earring studs.

Soojin had no idea what to say. The receptionist appeared to. She smiled in a tender way to Soojin who had not expected that, and, from the papers on her desk, she pushed across a beautifully calligraphed document.

"Our program for this evening." The receptionist entwined her fingers together and held them in her lap, still smiling in that kind way. "You can take to the left -" She tipped her head slightly to the left. "Or to the right." She gestured the opposite way.

Soojin wondered if she should just come out with it. So, she did. "It's about Yeh Shuhua." She said. "A personal thing."

The receptionist paled. "Oh - oh, I see." She stammered softly. She picked up a silver bell on her desk and rang it. A few moments later, another young woman in a similarly tailored black dress in nude stockings and black cube-heeled slip-ons came into the entrance hall, her bobbed hair in beautifully set marcel waves. 

"Take Miss -" The receptionist gazed to Soojin.

"Soojin - sorry, uh -" Soojin had to remember they appeared to do things the old way at this establishment. "Seo."

"Take Miss Seo to the Lily rooms," The receptionist bought out a key from a draw in her desk. "And she is not to leave or be bothered until she has her time with that badly behaved one."

Soojin snorted a laugh. She just couldn't help herself. Until the latter half of that sentence, the former had had Soojin rather frightened.

The second young woman nodded, then, her eyes slid to Soojin. "We apologise on her behalf."

"Oh, you don't need to do that." Soojin brushed it off.

"The rude bitch." The young women appeared to momentarily break with their work code to remark of Shuhua, and, Soojin didn't mind it. She smiled as she followed the second girl, and, she recieved a second tender smile from the receptionist.

The badly behaved one? Soojin thought of how the staff had referred to Shuhua. Well, that's very interesting

The young woman settled Soojin into a private, circular room with dark-stained floorboards, silvery-cream wallpaper, a white-washed ceiling with a large rose feature and a original 1930's hanging light feature with multiple shades made of rose-stained glass on the wrought-iron frame, two cocoa-toned leather chesterfield sofas with brass studding, a large bed with a blackwood frame, a open fireplace, and, two rooms that led off from either side of the fireplace, what appeared to be a bathroom and then a walk-in wardrobe. The room also contained a set of silvery-blue velvet curtains, and, behind them, just visible, a doorway. Soojin could very much understand what this room was for, and, at the thought of Shuhua using it with someone that wasn not her put Soojin's blood pressure through the roof. Soojin sat on one of the chesterfield sofas and saw a open and beautifully ornate cermaic box full of cigars. Soojin, who occasionally smoked, felt like lighting up one, but, an eery consideration for Shuhua loomed in the back of her mind. Shuhua didn't know that she smoked, and, Soojin knew that Shuhua would hold such a carry on if she did find out. 

The only light coming into the rooms were from the tall six-feet arched windows that had their heavy black drapes parted to let in the smouldering golden glow of the street-lighting outside, but, the irony was, the fantasy somewhat of the establishment wasn't ruined, because, if one was to look out the windows, they didn't see the twenty-first century Seoul skyscrapers, they saw Edwardian-era Churches, streets, gardens, shops, and houses, all admist lovely elm-tree lined avenues. It was worth a great deal of money, this little piece of the world.

Soojin waited, and, waited, and, after a age, there was some activity.

Soojin's stomach twisted violently at the sight that entered through the doorway with the velvet curtains partially covering it.

Throught it came a young woman who was dressed in a beautifully loose-fitting 1930's Englishman suit made of grye wool with a white button-up and collared shirt with a red tie, and, sky-high brown-leather heels. She had on a grey top-hat, slightly contrary to the 30's suit but not a sin, with her silky dark hair up in a french-knot with red lipstick, light foundation, black eye-liner, and, a black beauty-spot on her right cheekbone. 

"Hel-lo gorgeous." Shuhua bent down to smile sensually at the girl, sitting down on the couch and bringing the girl into her lap, unable to see before with the mix of light and dark of the club that it was her girlfriend Soojin with eyes full of animalistic, heartbroken loathing.

"You cunt of a woman." Soojin told Shuhua lowly.

Soojin wanted to kill Shuhua. Not only had there been the upward trend of Shuhua not answering her text messages for whole days and then many days themselves, she was essentially giving herself out to everyone else, and these people that gawped over her weren't people that burst into agonized, heart-broken tears everytime they saw that Shuhua hadn't even bothered to text them back, even though they were supposed to be together. Soojin knew that if Shuhua knew about how upset she got, it wouldn't nessecarily change the habit. Would it terrify Shuhua? Yes. Would it disconcert her? Yes. Would it make her uncomfortable? Yes. Would she break up with Soojin just to save the bother for herself?

The honest answer would be yes, but, Soojin knew she couldn't do without Shuhua in her life. She had gotten very used to Shuhua been in her life.

She was also very used to being someone that Shuhua loved.

The promoted idea of given love, anyhow. The more Soojin thought about it, the more clearly she could see how they themselves were doomed, let alone being together.

It made her even more horrible inside.

"Why do you just ignore me?" Soojin asked. Shuhua visibly lost all internal bearings. "If you don't like me, why don't you just say?"

Tears welled up on the edges of Shuhua's eyes. "I -" She began, but, Soojin didn't let her finish.

"You're weak." Soojin told her. "You're immature. You're stupid. You're selfish. I love you so much. I'm in love with you. And what would you do? Scorn me, humiliate me, hurt me? Absolutely. Yes. You would do this because I know how you would act to everything I could ever do." Soojin's eyes took in Shuhua's face. "I long for you. You don't deserve me. Girls like you cry for love your entire lives, and, then, when it comes to you, you say those who love you are fools, and, you reject it because you can't handle it. You cannot handle anything."

Soojin got up to leave, her boots heavy on the silent ground, until Shuhua was silent as she had been for so much time.

"I thought you'd hit me." Shuhua told Soojin softly, tight-throated. "Scream at me, lash out, take a piece of me. Or that you'd keep it down inside of you until the next time we had sex and then you'd lose it and have me to within an inch of our lives." 

Soojin turned back to look at Shuhua. "My world is crashing down because of you." She said. "And you're just the dumbest cunt I've ever met."

Shuhua made a sound like a wounded animal. Soojin scoffed a laugh, but, it sounded more like a snarl. 

"Catch my arm." Soojin held up her wrist. "Come and catch me and bring me back if you want me but the truth is you don't. Just then, you were saying how you were too weak to talk to me because you knew that you'd would get a particular deal because deep down that would be your reaction if someone did to you what you do to me." Soojin looked at Shuhua. "You can't even say something to me."

"I don't know what to say."

"Yes, because you've just lost the brain you never had, you insepid bitch." Soojin turned on her heel and left the Lily room, and then the "K" club. She walked straight through reception and didn't look back as the receptionist and the second young woman with the marcel waved hair called back after her.

I don't want a bloody cab, Soojin thought to herself, turning up the collar of her coat as she walked through the city. And I don't care if it rains.

I just want Yeh Shuhua.

Soojin couldn't understand how it had only been a week. But, it was the best week of her life. Never had she being so happy, so...

And, now, it was just gone. 

Shuhua could have anyone in a hearbeat. Soojin couldn't. She just couldn't find someone new in Seoul, in a society where anything remotely same-sex in genuine practice was kept under the covers. Soojin could only dive into the limited pool so many times before it spread around about this girl who kept entering the waters. Soojin knew if she wasn't careful she would humiliate herself, and, taint her efforts that did not contain malice.

And, she was just left alone. All by herself. 

Tears rolled down Soojin's cheeks. She felt like a fool for dreaming.

There was no way she could even force a smile.

Her world was still crashing down, and, it hurt so, so much.


End file.
